2 01 07 Reactions to the Ad Campaign that Triggered Bostons Bomb Scare

I must confess that sitting here in the middle of the country, I was in stunned disbelief when it was revealed that the true cause of Boston’s panic were actually lite-brites of the Mooninites from the Cartoon Network animated series “Aqua Teen Hunger Force”. Once again I was utterly disappointed by the lack of a real, cohesive threat that I could wrap my freedom loving paws around. This was almost as bad as the homeless terrorists from Miami who were supposedly plotting to blow up the Sears Tower in Chicago. Remember that? I didn’t think so, as that case seems to have mysteriously disappeared from the media radar screen, as so often happens with these “threats” that seem so dire at the time.

But, then I got to really thinking about it, and it occurred to me that this is worse. In the case of the Miami homeless sect of “terrorists”, it was a clear case of typical government ginning up a “threat”, a common practice of governments around the world. Create a big story that will fill a news cycle or two, that makes it seem like the government is doing their job protecting us from evil, etc., etc. It was pretty easy for me to understand the gravity of the threat when it was revealed that the first thing they asked for from the government planted Al Qaeda recruiter was shoes. I never worked at the CIA, but I’m pretty sure they were a LONG way away from being able to blow up a mailbox, much less a skyscraper.

Now, this brings us to Boston. In my opinion, this situation is worse because it was started by the citizens themselves. It is concrete proof that the seeds of fear that have been sown in this country for the last six years are finally starting to take root, and the paranoid population has finally started to tangibly react.

For those of you who do not know, The Mooninites are basically characters from the old video game “Space Invaders” who live on the Moon, totally convinced of their intellectual superiority over us “Stupid Earthlings” as they call us. They are featured in the series “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” on Cartoon Network, frequently making trips to Earth with ludicrous plans to take over the planet. Quite humorous for those with a penchant for staying up until three o’clock in the morning studying horticulture, but I’m sure quite unknown to the average Bostonian or even Boston Police Officer, it seems.

Now, it seems to promote the new feature length “Aqua Teen” movie, Cartoon Network placed lite-brite signs of these characters in several major cities across America, and only in Boston did it shut down the city. I’m not sure what this says about Boston, but they did give us the Big Dig so nothing surprises me about that place. But, the reaction is something I don’t quite understand. Judging by what I’ve seen on television, and articles I’ve read here and elsewhere, it seems to me the people of Boston are pointing the finger everywhere but where it really belongs, at us.

It is this culture that created the circumstances required for such a ridiculous national panic attack in the first place. Remember the crayola terror alert system? I know it’s been a little while, but think back. Every week RED, no YELLOW alert, wait, this week it’s BLUE alert. Then, terrorists with toothpaste tubes are going to blow you out of your 300 dollar flight to Branson, Missouri. Wait, it’s homeless terrorists from Miami who are going to blow stuff up as soon as they get some shoes, and maybe a sandwich. All of this, and now Al-Qaeda not only wants to blow you up, they want you to laugh at the funny picture of the little space man giving you the finger before you are exploded back to Allah. It would be funnier if it wasn’t so sad. What has happened to us?

It blew my mind that not one single person who was called to respond to this “threat” didn’t recognize the familiar patterns of a lite-brite. Once again, I am no trained police officer, but it took me about .5 seconds to decipher the case on TV from a photograph of the “bomb”. Who are these people in the government who are assigned to protect me and you from the evils of this world? I can see not knowing the Mooninites, but not knowing what a lite-brite is is just massively retarded. Don’t these people have kids? What’s next, a sleeper cell of guys plotting to take out government installations with etch-a-sketches? Fear begets fear, and we all know that’s the only thing we have to fear. I love my country, but I fear for us and the direction we’re headed in. Take a deep breath, relax, think, and you will realize that we are not in that much danger. We are giving the terrorists exactly what they want. Terrorism doesn’t work if you don’t get scared. The very word requires that you feed it. If you don’t get filled with terror, all they have left is ism, right? And what the hell are they gonna do with that?

“Of Course the people don’t want war. But, after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.”
-Hermann Goering at the Nuremburg Trials